Throughout President Barrack Obama’s time in the White House, conspiracy theorists debated over the existence of Michelle Obama’s penis. For years, glimpses of the “First Lady’s” penis had been seen in high-wind areas like airport runways, or the time she wore loose-fitting white pants on the Ellen show, and gave everybody a little taste of that uptown funk.

That was until early this week when Wikileaks released classified documents revealing Michelle Obama’s true identity. The documents show the “First Lady” was born Michael Robinson, a white male, on January 17, 1964 in Chicago, Illinois.

Although it is unclear from the documents when Michael became Michelle, the documents demonstrate that Michelle might still be holding on to a piece of her former self. During the initial White House physical examination it was noted that Michelle had “male genitalia that were Caucasian in skin tone.” These documents reveal that, despite the Obamas being to first black family to occupy the White House, there was still one white male occupant. Proving that no matter how much change you think you bring about, the white man will always be in control.

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