The White House released a statement earlier this afternoon after 16 men were hospitalized at a sexual assault fundraiser titled “Grab ’em by the Limes” where white house staffers were serving one dollar MAGA-ritas to raise money for victims of sexual assault.
“It is our understanding that at today’s Grab ’em by the Limes fundraising event, more than a dozen men were sent to the emergency room after their MAGA-rita had been spiked with Rufilin.”
Although it is still unclear as to who committed the act against the public servants, Alabama Senate hopeful Judge Roy Moore had this to say about the incident. “Whole thing was a total sausage fest. Thirty-two of the biggest swingin’ dicks on Capitol Hill and someone decided to get crazy and spike the punch. I’ll tell you what, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Me, I’ve been roofied both accidentally and on purpose on serval occasions and it didn’t do any damn thing to me except make things fuckin’ awesome.”
It is assumed that no women were hospitalized because no woman on planet earth has had enough lobotomies to attend such an event.