Greetings Americans,

Have you ever been sitting on couch and thought “Oh, you know what would be hella sweet right now? If someone who was captured and held hostage against their will was here to bring me hummus, while I watch the Kim Kardashians and get blowjob from second person forced to be here against will.” Well, now you’re luck, thanks to your friends here at ISIS Libya.

Our holiday sales were really ramping up with U.S. Trump supporters before American media found out what we were doing. But, we’re back! And we’ve got young slaves, old slaves, slaves with big testicles, perfect for “Middle Eastern Goat Show.”

Seriously folks, the heat has died down, white liberals and social justice warriors have forgotten about us. We are back in business. So email us at

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