Kyle Longbottom from Devry University has created an algorithm that can predict President Donald Trump’s future tweets saying “There is a pattern he uses that usually starts with something incoherent followed by a few racially insensitive jabs then a flurry of falsehoods with a dash of paranoia. We were able to predict the Shithole statement he made about Haiti but were off on the country of origin. We thought it would have been North Korea or Pakistan.” Kyle has posted some future tweets and they are alarming but also very expected.

  1. I had the best nuclear war, better than anyone else. Nobody starts a nuclear war like me!
  2. Robert Mueller is a deep state dem paid for by fusion GPS and crooked Hillary.
  3. I always wanted to be charged with obstruction of justice. No president has been charged with obstruction of justice like I have.Blacks are bad, bad dudes.
  4. I am resigning not because the Dems have won the house and the Senate but because I want to start my own coal company. Drill baby drill cofeefee!
  5. The economy has collapsed because I was impeached by my  Crooked Hillary, sloppy Steve Bannon is the real traitor!

Written by Dave Jessup

Stand up comedian, improviser and creepy doll maker.

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