A pimp nicknamed “Pimpy” was arrested today for Pimping and Pandering but was let go due to the fact that Alfonso B. Copycat, as it states on his birth certificate, had Down’s, as in Down Syndrome.

When asked about why he, a mentally challenged person, would go in to the field of managing prostitutes, Alfonso grinned and said: “Cause pimping is cheesy”. I didn’t understand what he meant by this except for it being reminiscent of the Big Daddy Kane lyric, “Pimpin’ ain’t easy”. I assumed he had just misquoted Kane but, as I followed him through the afternoon a very different meaning emerged. When we got to his apartment, I found all sorts of cheeses in his fridge and sprawled all over his kitchen counter. In the corner of his living room, as if forming another piece of furniture was a pile of Cheese Wiz. As it appears, Alfonso spends all his money from pimping (allegedly) on cheese from a 40 dollar Guda to the cheese you find at a Dollar General which has already expired.

I spoke with several of the girls that worked for Alfonso and they said he was a great pimp… mainly because he didn’t know that he was the one to take the larger cut from the “proceeds” and that he’s more of a mascot than a pimp. Plus, he always has cheese. “He’s never hit or threatened us and in this line of work that is hard to find. Also, we have no problems with payment because no John is about to beat up a mentally challenged person on top of soliciting a prostitute.”

So I guess in a way, the cops were right to let him go, providing an uplifiting story in this most desperate hour. Reminding us that we all have a little Pimpy in our hearts and that with a little faith Pimpin’ can be cheesy for us too.

Written by ChivesMary

I <3 chives & chives <3 me...

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