Soon to be the only Kardashian that hasn’t pushed a black kid out of her hoo-ha, Kendall Jenner is pregnant! Or soon to be anyway. The eldest of the Jenner hookers is about to take on the most important role of her life by surrogating her half-sister, Kim into her final form.

According to the prophecy foretold by Kris Jenner, “The last one to shit out a kid has to carry Kim into her Golden form so that she can take revenge on Paris Hilton and the other talentless whores of Hollywood that came before her. So there.”

Once in Golden form, or Golden Kim as Kris is calling the transformation, will then travel back to her enemies home planets in far off galaxies to conquering them, selling the planets and it’s inhabitants to the highest bidder or destroying them completely.

As it’s foretold, after defeating her enemies of the present, she will travel through time and space before battling the most powerful talentless whore of all time, Marilyn Monroe.

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