In the most recent case of government being a total fucking buzzkill, the Chinese government has banned citizens from having strippers provide entertainment at funerals in the country to keep a vibe that is more wholesome or some bullshit.

But, what the government didn’t foresee was that by eliminating strippers they opened the door for savages to up the ante. Businesses that once provided exotic dancers to funerals will now be offering consumers live robot sex shows, “full-blown” animal shows, and anal ring toss games while refreshments are being served.

Needless to say, Chinese government officials are fucking furious.

“These uncut (referring to their foreskin) animals created a game called anal ring toss,” a mentally exhausted official stated. “A loved one has just died, and 5 hours into their funeral they are drinking Zhujiang and tossing plastic rings at a pole jutting out of a woman’s ass.”

In return, the government is working towards passing legislation that will mitigate these practices and restore the peace they once knew, bringing strippers back to funerals and pretending that robo-cunnilingus was ever a thing in their country.

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