People have some real uppity things to say about guns these days. One thing not being mentioned is how some hunters are being discriminated against due to their terrible aim.

Johnny Doe is an avid hunter but unfortunately doesn’t have much of a shot. If given a rifle and a 50-yard target, it takes Johnny about a full clip to get his baring’s…and another two clips to hit his target, and Johnny isn’t the only guy to have this problem. A lot of guys in his gun club, “Hunters with Parkinson’s,” also have this issue.

In response, Hunters with Parkinson’s is trying to get politicians to allow them to have machine guns so that they can finally bring back a trophy kill to show to the world that even someone with Parkinson’s can kill a lion with just one bullet…after shooting 99 other ones.

“It’s just plain discriminatory for these kids to tell me that I can’t shoot a machine gun because there is no use for them as a hunter. Well, there is a use for machine guns in hunting, and my gun club and I are that reason!” Doe exclaimed.

When asked to comment, many people for stricter gun laws responded with “What the fuck?!?! You’re missing the entire point.”

When we told them they’re discriminatory towards the handicap with their gun laws many went “I fucking hate you for what you’re doing” and “Is the N.R.A. paying you to do this?!” in which we responded with a resounding “Yes!”

Because if there is one thing this site knows is that somebody’s gotta pay the bills and the N.R.A. is always down to do it, unlike those foo-foo snowflakes who don’t have guns. I mean, what are they going to do? Protest?! Bah, we got 200 guns sent to our company ever since we got sponsored by the N.R.A. and we’ve only got 3 employees! One of them is even a felon!

God Bless the N.R.A. and the next shipment of guns they’re sending tomorrow. Also, Mr. N.R.A. we’ve decided to get a T1 landline so please send some cash over in the next crate-o-guns!

Oh, shit…I gotta go. Joe just shot me in leg! Don’t know why I’m typing this…Ah, things are going dim…so dim…are you there god it’s me Chelsea…i mean Margaret…I mean Chives!

Written by ChivesMary

I <3 chives & chives <3 me...

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