Dear Mr. Drug Dealer,

When I was growing up, I would hear tales of marijuana being mixed or “cut” with other drugs. A guy goes to smoke a joint and almost has a heart attack from cocaine that was laced in his pot. A woman takes a hit from the bong and hallucinates her grandmother perched like a gargoyle on top of her toilet seat nearly sending her to the hospital. Amongst other interesting tales.

The reason I’m writing you is to request that you start taking this approach to the weed you sell me. Separately, these drugs are expensive and hard to come by. So, I’d really appreciate if you could be a pal and save me some time and money by dosing me with tainted bud, that would be fantastic.

I’ll be by next week to see how you’re doing on this request!

Thanks!

P.S. Fuck with me, and your whole family goes to federal prison.

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