Bugs are Self-Aware and Hell-Bent on Suicide

Scientists from the University of California Berkley recently discovered that insects are self-aware of themselves and their surroundings.

“What we found interesting about our research was not only are insects aware of their existence as insects but that they fucking hate themselves, wishing each new day would bring them the sweet release of death that will take them out of this existence,” explained Dr. Elroy McDonald. “So the next time you see one of those ugly mother fuckers on the street, stomp its fucking head in. You’ll actually be doing them a favor.”

It was found that bugs like roaches, nats, mosquitoes, and other insects intend to approach and annoy humans in hopes that their life will be ended.

“Most insects are fully aware of the danger that they face when they are close to a human, except for June Bugs, those are just retarded,” McDonald stated. “The only thing preventing them from successfully dying every time they’re near a human is their biological programming to survive, causing them to dodge slaps and avoid being smashed, preventing them from freeing themselves from their prison.”

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