Despite a net worth of over $50 million, comedian Larry Stonefield still loves to travel the world telling the same jokes for the last three decades.
At 73, his career is thriving. “I love the Vegas crowds, they’re my favorite. They’re all retirees with dementia. They don’t remember my jokes, so they keep coming back to see me!” he gushed.
One group of people Stonefield won’t perform for? College students.
“College students are so liberal and politically correct. They can’t take a joke.” Stonefield said, rolling his eyes. He continued, “I know my jokes are funny. They have worked for the past 30 years without any edits or updates needed. Now, suddenly, they’re not good enough for the younger crowd? There’s definitely something wrong with kids these days.”
When asked what prompted him to turn away college gigs, Stonefield explained, “I never actually got any pushback from younger audiences. But, my daughter told me I wasn’t a feminist, once. And, that turned me off to her entire generation forever.”
College students, for the most part, seem unaffected by Stonefield’s absence. When told that a ticket to his show costs at least $75, one student exclaimed “$75?! I could buy a week’s worth of ramen and Adderall for that much!”
Some college students admit they are aware of Stonefield’s existence. “I tried to watch reruns of his show to bond with my dad.” Said a student. “We’re still not close.”