Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia broke the all-time Pay-Per-View sales record last weekend after he participated in a live orgy involving himself and 400 Nubian goats.

The incredible display of bestiality sold a tremendous 5 million buys worldwide, not only beating Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Manny Pacquiao, which accumulated nearly 4.5 million buys, but also set records in Saudi Arabia.

“Previously, the record for pay-per-view sales were held by the live beheading of 100 Saudi homosexuals,” a representative of the prince explained. “Which took the record from the Saudi Royal Wedding, where the prince married  47 of his underage cousins.”

And although many of those around the Muslim world we’re in amazement at the Prince’s bravery, openly displaying his love for animal sex with the world, those back in the United States had a lot of questions.

“I walk in my dang son’s room after hearin’ him and his friends in their cacklin’ like hyenas because I thought they were high,” said James Cooper of Hot Springs, Arkansas. “I walk in, and they are watching a Muslim fella fuck what must’ve been at least 1,000 goats. I was like woah, what kind of movie is this.”

But, it wasn’t a movie.

“I look longer, and they start a close up of this Islam guy blowin’ goats,” he explains. “He’s gagging and crying, hat’s crooked with goat cum running down his chin. He might have had mascara on? It was a fucking mess, and I could not stop looking.”

Three hours later and James had a new found respect for Prince Mohammad.

“This guy went through the ringer man, he was in goats, goats were in him, and at the end of the day I feel like I’m more cultured for watchin’ it.”

The money raised from the event will go towards finding new ways to beat, dismember, torture, and kill those who engage in same-sex relationships, in addition to providing funding for Saudi Arabia’s dream of hosting an all-male Olympics.

“I am a trillionaire, I don’t need any of the money,” Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman stated after the event. “All that delicious goat cum was a reward enough for me. Just kidding, just kidding. If we can make hosting the Olympics without women happen, I would be incredibly happy.”

 

 

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