Thanks to a recent update, iPhone users will now be able to measure the length of objects in their camera. And although the app has only been available for 24 hours one man already has issues with the new feature.
“Man, this app is fucking bullshit,” complained Chad Michaels, 24. “I tried to use the app to measure my dick and send it to my bros as a joke, but the fucking things is broken as fuck.”
While attempting to use the app to measure his gentials, Chad realized something off about the measurements on screen.
“An inch and a half soft? That’s not fucking right, and then I give myself a fluff, and the piece of shit then says I’m four inches rock hard, no fucking way that’s right!”
Chad concludes the feature must be broken, considering the amount of attention he receives from females.
“I get so much fucking pussy that I’m swimming in it. Like, up to my fucking eyeballs in pussy, bro. Girls cum on my dick like I’m the town dildo. In fact, that’s what I’ve been called since middle school, and it’s because I fucking slam harder than anyone in town!”
He has since deleted the app from his phone to remove any further unwanted realizations.
“I’m done with it. Maybe when Apple’s piece of shit app can tell the difference between four and eight inches, then I will redownload it. Until then everyone can go suck my not four-inch dick.”

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